Wacky Packages!!

Anyone remember "Wacky Packages?" They were a set of stickers that came with a stick of gum in a collector-card sized package. The hook was the sticker themselves. Each one (and I think there were about 3-4 per package?)was a parody of a current product, like those pictured here (e.g. Chef Girl-ar-dee, the "Feminist" pasta!)

The Wacky Packages had very good art, and were sold by the Topps Chewing Gum company. Along with those pictured here, they had "Lox Scented Soap" (active ingredient seaweed and seawater)"Badzooka Guggle Bum", "Kick-a-man Boy Sauce" (gives kids super power!), "Stove Glop" (15 minutes stuffing mess) and "Land O Quakes" (butter churned by earthquakes), among hundreds of others!

Overall the wacky packages had kind of a Mad Magazine feel to them. The pictures and captions themselves were often extreme and on the edge of bad taste (e.g. "Czechlets-overcoated tiny humans!!"), which made them hugely popular with young boys wanting to decorate their school supplies in their first taste of rebellion! I think they actually got into some legal trouble with a number of the products they were sending up.

Recently my brother and I found a stash of 72 of these stickers, with very few duplicates! Thanks to finding this hoard of trasure, I can again relive those heady days of tasteless stickers on my school binder.

Dollar Store Treasures!!

This afternoon AGF (awesome girlfriend) and I went on an expedition to one of our favorite stores of all time, United Unlimited. If you've never been there, imagine a warehouse snugly ensconced beneath a picturesque railyard overpass, stocked to the rafters with treasures past and present! Need a Roman helmet? Furry handcuffs? Spice World trading cards? United Unlimited has it all!!

Today, as AGF stocked up on stickers, beads and stuff for her crafts, I happily came across the item pictured here...a concept that blew me away with it's brilliance....yes, a handy bag of... 8 SPARE BODY PARTS!

Look at how joyful the little lad on the top of the package looks, wearing his turquoise replacement nose, after probably losing his own in a tragic spirograph accident. And that's not all! My grab-bag came fully equipped with two left ears (for the artist in all of us), the pictured turquoise nose, a turquoise finger (useful for speaking in traffic, I'm sure), and not one or two, but four extra mouths!!

Now I'm not sure if the mouths are supposed to be seperate upper and lower lips or a matched set, in which case they represent merely two complete mouths. In either case, for a dollar plus tax, I have to rate this as one of the wiser purchases I have ever made!

In today's dangerous world, One can never be too careful. Up until today I had to fret over the very real threat of losing one or both lips, or even lose my left ear twice. Not any more...THANK YOU United Unlimited....for being there!!

Urgently needed new Government service

Ok, I know some people hate the thought of "big government" out there. I've heard frequent condemnations of the "nanny state" and the fact that government services, as they stand, can't be maintained. But here's ONE service I'm sure we can all agree to.

"Name That Tune"- a service from the federal government. How many times have you had a tune stuck in your head and were unable to remember what it was called? We DESPERATELY need a government-funded service that allows us distressed citizens to call in and hum the offending tune. Efficient civil servants would quickly and cheerfully identify the music, putting our minds at ease and halting the drain on the resources of our mental health facilities.

How could it go wrong? Think of the great service we ALREADY get when we call a government office. The speed! the friendliness! The accuracy!

hmmm.......maybe I should just hum it to you. Hmmm HMMMMMMMMM hmm hm HMMM hmmmmmm....

Pollocks Hardware-best hardware store ever!

Usually there's not too much to get excited about going to a hardware store....unless it's Pollock's Hardware in good old Winnipeg.

Pollocks has been around for decades. It was always the kind of place where you could buy interesting quantities of "stuff"; like three nails if that's all you needed, or test your TV set vacuum tubes. For a while it was closed down, as it's original owners retired. Recently, however, it's re-opened as Pollock's Hardware Co-op, in which I am proud to say I am a member.

As you see from the pictures, Pollocks is still a place where you can buy most everything. Need a cast-iron fry pan, wash-board or glass bubble to a coffee percolator? Go to Pollocks. Need a genuine Radio Flyer wagon or a balsa-wood glider? Pollocks! Need three nails? Obviously, don't look anywhere else.

I know there's a real nostalgia element to my fondness for the place, but I also can't help but admire a place that just doesn't want to throw things out. Sometimes keeping a piece of the past because it makes you feel good to have it around is all the reason you need for holding on to those freakishly-smiling MacGregor Socks displays. Hey, where else can you find "stuff", other than Pollocks??

Ottawa Team Names

Sometime in the next couple of years, Ottawa is supposed to again have a CFL franchise. I'm delighted by this, partially for the football fans in Ottawa, and partially for the league, which I have always felt needed to have 10 teams to be truly representative of the country. Ottawa will just bring it back to nine, but it looks like Halifax may round it out one day.

As for the Ottawa team name, I'm partial to their original name, the Rough Riders. Oh, I know the Saskatchewan fans feel they have dibs on that name, but hey, it's not the REAL CFL without two teams named "Rough Riders" (or "Roughriders", for those of the green persuasion). Since this, unfortunately, won't be possible due to the "world's greatest fans" getting all snotty about it, here are a few alternate ideas for the new Ottawa Football Club.

1-"The Ottawa-Gatineau Oh-Geez". This one ties in the region's multicultural status with the inevitable fan response as they watch their team try to grow from scratch. "Oh Geez, they dropped the ball again. Oh Geez why didn't they tackle that guy?"

2-"The Ottawa Elevens" or "The Ottawa Twelves" (depending on when the franchise starts, 2011 or 2012). One of the new owners already runs a minor league hockey team called the "67s", named after Canada's official first year as a country, 67 A.D.

3-"The Ottawa Ottawas". Sure, I just copied this from the original name of the Blue Bomber football club, when they were known by the incredibly imaginative name the "Winnipegs". Their cheerleaders could be called the "Lady Ottawas".

4-"The Ottawa Rainbow Narwhals". This has nothing to do with Ottawa, I just like the sound of it. Try to imagine the iniform, then see if you can get to sleep tonight.

I'm sure the owners in Ottawa have something they feel is regionally representative and cool enough to promote jersey sales. I'm just hoping it's not just a verb like the "Ottawa Thrash" or a landmark like the "Ottawa Provincial Trunk Highway 417".

Go Rainbow Narwhals!

My second film!! Check it out!

We just finished and posted our second film-"Billy the Kid meets the Vampire Dinosaur"-it's on YouTube at this addy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RjqZKrfsRM4

Check it out!!

Mission to Mars-my first film

Here's a link to my first-ever attampt to make a cheezy 50's sci-fi film. It was strung together with random memories of half-a-dozen actual films, including Rocketship XM and Missile to the Moon. AGF supplied the voice of all the women, and I popped the corn for the meteor storm. Here we go and please remember...it's supposed to look cheezy!

Here's that link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bcyBasVFMlQ